Business Zodiac Signs


1. MARKETING: You are ambitious yet asinine (aww, hugs!). You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to plough your way through business school, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities entail anyway. Least compatible with Sales (you never thought of that, did you now?).

2. SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree”. You are also inward-focused and crazy (believe us, that’s a good thing!). Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can “concentrate on the big picture”.

3. ENGINEERING & TECHNOLOGY: One of only two signs that you actually studied in school (depends on where you studied though, but who has to know!). Often, even YOU don’t understand what you are saying but who the heck can tell! It is an art, and also because you know that it is written that the Geek shall inherit the Earth. That’s why they started “Beauty and the Geek” on TV. At least our descendants could look good!

4. FINANCE: The only other sign that you studied in school. You are mostly immune to office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, and you think you are the smartest and the most intelligent of them all! No wonder the majority of rumors concerning you says that you are completely insane.

5. HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter. Phew! Such a time-consuming role!

6. GENERAL MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Because you do not know what to do with the rest of your life, but hey, the higher the number of meetings you schedule the better right!

7. CONSULTING: Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your skills are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

8. ENTREPRENEURSHIP: Or Partner, President, even CEO! You have a “Eureka” moment and you decide that the next logical action is to start a business. You are either simply brilliant or simply lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggests the latter. Who cares, it’s your company anyway!

(P.S. Author Unknown. These horoscopes are for entertainment only, but may reflect the unpleasant reality of life.)

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