It is exam week and stress is in the air. If you find yourself unable to sleep at night or getting migraines because you are worried, these relaxation tips are sure to help.
I don’t have enough time to study.
Solution: Facebook. This might seem counterintuitive but instead of sitting in the IBIC all day with your face in a book, go on facebook for 5 minutes. You will inevitably spend 5 hours procrastinating on facebook, which will further reduce how much time you have to study. However, having even less time to study will force you to focus on the key concepts and have a more effective study session. If you doubt that this tip works, you can take solace in the fact that your peers are already using this tip. Just take a look around the IBIC next time.
I am worried I am going to get an F because I haven’t studied enough
Solution: Have a near death experience. Everyone talks about how almost dying helps put everything in perspective. In that moment when you see your life flash before your eyes, your finals will suddenly seem not-so-important. Afterwards you will remember that life is meant to be enjoyed and that there are more important things to do than studying excessively or worrying about your finals. The key to implementing this tip successfully is to ensure that you almost die but not actually die, because if you do die, you will definitely be getting an F in that class.
I am being really negative about finals because I have barely shown up to class all trimester
Solution: Be positive. There is nothing the power of positive thinking cannot solve. Just close your eyes, and see yourself sitting in the front row in all those classes you missed. Then, visualize yourself getting an A. There is no need to study. Just be positive. Enough said.
I tried to be positive but I am still stressed
Solution: Get all your body hair waxed off. This tip is especially effective for hairy guys (make sure to get all your back hair and chest hair removed). The unbearable pain you will feel during waxing will cause your stress about finals to pale in comparison.
None of these tips have worked and now I am not just stressed, I am really freaking out!
Solution: Go to Vegas. You could win enough money at the casinos to quit school, start your own business and hire MBAs who were busy studying instead of gambling.