Forecasting is Hard (But Let’s Do It Anyway)*

By Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer Warning: Satire below. At a recently convened panel event featuring industry experts, ASU/Thunderbird faculty members, and random people from the street, panelists were asked their opinions on future trends impacting global business. Every respondent was careful to note that projections into the future are notoriously inaccurate, and went on to […]

ASU to Acquire Volkswagen in $10b Deal*

by Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer Warning: Satire in, on, or around this article. According to an announcement sent to students from Arizona State University (ASU) President Michael Crow, ASU has agreed to acquire all of the outstanding shares of Volkswagen AG, the troubled car maker, for an estimated price of ten billion dollars. “The purchase of […]

A Thunderbird Secret Agent?*

by Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer Warning: If you are allergic to satire, proceed with caution. According to recently leaked intelligence reports, an unnamed member of Thunderbird’s finance faculty is actually a secret International Monetary Fund (IMF) agent working under the code name “Speculatre.” (The report did not say whether the agent is related to MALEFICENT, Thunderbird’s […]

ASU West Bee Alert*

By Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer ATTENTION: Satire article. Reader discretion is advised. Attention to all students, regardless of whether you have any intention of setting foot on Arizona State University (ASU) West’s campus in your lifetime: the cafeteria in ASU West is currently covered in bees. Every square inch of the floor, walls, ceiling, and […]

Meta-Consulting and the Division of Labor*

By Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer ATTENTION: Satire article. Reader discretion is advised. Consulting is on the rise—volatility in the world market and increased specialization raises the demand for consultants’ services. Thinking about entering a new market? Hire a consulting firm. Profits slipping despite revenue rising? Need to be reminded every 30 seconds that the world […]

Finance Faculty Form Rap Group*

By Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer ATTENTION: Satire article. Reader discretion is advised. In a bid to appeal to Thunderbird’s new, younger crop of students, Thunderbird finance faculty have formed a rap group. “I noticed that incoming students were intimidated by finance,” explained Lena Booth. “They think it’s dry and overly quantitative. That’s why I formed […]

Honor Council to Build Honor Hall*

By Keith Blincoe, Staff Writer WARNING: Satire article. Reader discretion is advised. Everyone knows the Thunderbird Honor Council doesn’t do anything, and now that ASU has assumed its academic-discipline function, THC does even less. Hence the rampant gossip about how THC will spend the lavish budget it has received from ASU. Adding fuel has been […]

Improvising to better Business Skills is no Joke

By Andrew Carson “Improvisation is probably one of the two or three cardinal skills Businesses need to learn in the future” John Kao, Harvard Business School Most people mistakenly believe that Improvisation is only a performance art to be practiced in front of a roaring audience for amusement and humor. However this art form has […]