Put a Ring on Everything

ringFrankly speaking, I am shocked that no MBA student or at least an MS student has started a business to solve this problem.

Have you ever  spent 15 minutes buying drinks and chatting up a lady with your finest “elevator speech” only to discover that she already has a boyfriend? Or walked up to a young hot stuff at the bar only to discover that he’s engaged?! Guys never get to make a fool of themselves by hitting on someone who is engaged.

Well, if you have been frustrated by chatting up “the unavailable”, fret no more! A Ring for Everything has your back!

I know some people erroneously believe “if there’s no ring on…”, well, now, there will be a ring on!

Are you recently engaged and tired of women (who are clearly desperate) hitting on your man? Put a ring on him! The Mangagement Ring is specially designed to fit large fingers.

Do you have a girlfriend and want guys (who are clearly better looking) to stop hitting on your woman? Put a ring on her! I know several commitment phobic guys just groaned, but this is a different ring. The Girlfriend but Nothing More ring is the perfect way to let your girl know that she is special enough to be your girlfriend but not yet special enough to be your fiancée. Guys have a hard time communicating their feelings, so this ring should help. Think of all the benefits the Girlfriend but Nothing More ring will provide! First, you will avoid having a “define the relationship” (DTR) talk because she will clearly know where she stands. Secondly, you will prevent hotter guys from hitting on your woman and this will ensure that she never realizes that she can do better than you.

Was there a guy in your data analysis class that you had a crush on but some other girl snagged him before you could even bat your fake lashes at him? Well, if you had put the Keep Off B****** ring on him, that will not have happened. Order now, before history repeats itself.

And for those special ladies who think that just because he smiled at you, he is now yours, there is finally a ring to help you mark your territory: the Don’t Cross Me, I’m Crazy ring. It comes in all sizes.

A Ring for Everything even now has available special limited edition rings: The Douche, The Jerk, The Player and The Nice Guy. “Why would I want any of these rings?” you ask. What T-bird has never heard of personal branding? Have you never heard that girls like bad boys? And believe it or not, some girls do like nice guys.

With A Ring for Everything rings, you will never again waste your time flirting with a douche or a guy who is engaged. Order now.

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