Das Tor News

The Weekly Substandard: The Perfect Day

The Weekly is still cooling down after last week’s column (read: busy with school).  To fill the place of the usual debate, Jack and Jill decided to post a photo journal of their respective Valentines Days accompanying tips on how to make your next one the perfect one.

There is nothing like starting everyone’s favorite day of the year with breakfast in bed.  A single rose may be the perfect accoutrement.


A love note is always a great idea for the V-Day.  Make sure to use a red matching theme too.


A candlelit five-course dinner with a subtle piano piece playing in the background will set the mood for the evening.


And, if you are unlucky enough to not have a date, remember this cliché: there are plenty of other fish in the sea.


Note: Unlike Jack, I am a realist, and realize the cure to any lonely Valentine’s Day (well, just ANY normal day, is liquor)

To please your woman on V-Day, begin with a Jack and Coke and a Bravo t.v. show. Any will do.


Next, take your girl to a bar and make hand puppets. The suggestive “rooster” usually sets the mood right.


Don’t worry, did you start drinking way too early, and pass out before happy hour? That’s okay. It happens. Reverse happy hour was made with that in mind!


Nothing like a good ol’ hangover cure for lunch the next day: cottage cheese and beets.. Delicious.


Visit next week as we tackle a new topic and set a new bar for subtlety and taste, and, if you have an opinion on the matter, COMMENT BELOW!

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